yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
