I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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