My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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