Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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