My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
