I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
