The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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