I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
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