You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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