Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
3pm strippers are depressing
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
