SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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