4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
