just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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