your thong is hanging out like whoa
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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