I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
People with herpes should wear stickers.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
