whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
