That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
