How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
