i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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