The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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