"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
