i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize