guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
