Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
