I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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