well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
