im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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