There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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