you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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