Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
