I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
