my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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