You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
