Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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