He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
