Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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