Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
