Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Say something about gay babies.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
