I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
