it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i've created a new STD.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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