What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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