one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
