You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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