I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
