whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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