In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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