he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
