Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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