Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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