i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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