Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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