I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
