She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
